The Night Before Commencement

by k_sra

Twas the night before Commencement and all through the college
Every creature was stirring, even the AV guy.
(who usually just took long lunch breaks with his door closed)
All the good little children with their gowns and their caps
Had just settled down for a pre-Commencement nap.
When the President came limping down the stairs with glee,
Crying, "Do it MY way. It's my damn party!"
His cabinet was scurrying and kissing his ass
And changing the rules for the 2004 class,
When all of a sudden and to their amazement
He fired a worker named whats-a-ma-face-it.
The cabinet applauded as his workforce groaned
Knowing their raises would be once more postponed.
k_sra and her boss were holed up in a panic,
Ironing stoles and becoming quite manic.
They'd taken every precaution and made every list
"This comes straight from the top!" their jolly President hissed.
"I want no students parking in MY parking lot!
If they try to park there they're going to get shot!
No reception is needed for these little cuds,
Instead, I'll have a big dinner for me and my buds.
The students are sloppy and they get in my way,
After all, Commencement is MY special day.
Let's all try to remember this one little fact;
Do what I say or you'll damn well get sacked."
And with this fair warning, he limped out of sight
And left the school to rot, all covered in shite!