1.25.2005

Walking with a Limp

(You only need to do this once to know how fun it is.)

As I was walking to work this morning, my mind seething with the prospect of another (nearly) unbearable day in a small, dingy office in a basement somewhere in Cleveland, I passed a man with his head down, briefcase swinging. As I ducked out of his way I thought, "He could have hit me with that briefcase right in the knee. And if he had, I would be limping right now." And so I started limping. Just to see what that would be like. And suddenly my day didn't look so bad after all.

I limped to the security desk, checked in, limped down the stairs, limped to my office, etc. Anytime anyone asked me what was wrong, I told them that a man in the crosswalk accidentally swung his briefcase into my knee. And then I'd limp away. Sometimes my limp is more pronounced. Sometimes it is barely noticeable, but no matter which it is always there. Even when no one is watching. I limped up the back stairs, for instance, when I had to go to the fifth floor. I limp to and from the bathroom, I'll probably limp on my lunch break walk today around town. I don't see why not.

Today I'm limping. Tomorrow, of course, my leg will be fine again, but for today, I'm slightly crippled.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Worldgineer said...

If nothing else, sounds like a good reason to skip the gym.

25/1/05 11:45  
Blogger Worldgineer said...

You absolutely must drive around one of those electric grocery store carts today. And say "yes" when the guy that bags your groceries ask if he can carry your groceries (which should be small - say one bottle of vodka and a bandage roll) to the car.

25/1/05 13:42  
Blogger Diva said...

You're in Cleveland? I am envious.

(and I am not being sarcastic.)

25/1/05 21:14  
Blogger Temple said...

I really want to tell you that you are a dork....now, I mean this as a deeply held compliment, truly. No, not alone at all dear one. There's a more personal response back at my little ranch for you. Mess with everyone's head and limp on the other leg tomorrow. :)

26/1/05 01:15  
Blogger Tara said...

Well you can really give everyone an Oscar performance so that they send you home for the day! Just be careful so that, if they do send you home, you don't run out of the building instead of limp out of the building.

26/1/05 09:58  
Blogger dabuheebly said...

You are not really Keyser Soze are you? Aren't you just one of the usual suspects on the RTA? But now I'm getting worried: K-sra aka Keyser Soze. Too many correlations. When were you last at San Pedro Harbor? Are you now, or are you not rebuilding your organization using Ukranian gangsters instead of Hungarians? And blogging shows you to be extremely "Verbal." I've seen you limp and I doubt the veracity of your limp. But you are good. It's scary how good you are.

27/1/05 10:17  
Blogger Tara said...

After all, "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist." Sorry, just had to get that out. I loved that movie. :)

27/1/05 20:33  

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