4.20.2006

Fun At Wal-Mart


Here's a list of amusing things to do the next time you're at a large, nameless, faceless, megastore:

1. Take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell them in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares..... and watch what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And; last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

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14 Comments:

Blogger Worldgineer said...

Heh. I could do those. In fact, can I choose one for you to do as the next caption contest prize? (assuming there is another caption contest and assuming I win it)

20/4/06 00:31  
Blogger Steve DeGroof said...

Love to see hidden camera footage of #1.

20/4/06 07:03  
Blogger Tara said...

I like the part about crying when someone from the store asks if they can help me. Unfortunately, nobody from the Wal-Mart I go to ever comes up to me. Course I've been there enough, they probably know I have a general idea of where things are located.

20/4/06 07:58  
Blogger Worldgineer said...

Yes. The Wal-Mart employees ask Tara for directions.

20/4/06 09:11  
Blogger k_sra said...

HA! It's probably true! : )
It's Tara's second home, I think.

20/4/06 10:42  
Anonymous DrCurry said...

Wondering quite how you're going to sneak around with the 24 boxes of condoms without drawing at least some attentionto yourself...

o Place an item in the cart that is not sold in the supermarket, and let them spend a couple of hours trying to find a price for it.

20/4/06 11:41  
Blogger k_sra said...

Dr. Curry, I think you put them in a hand cart under a Mickey Mouse T-shirt.

Well, that's what I would do.

20/4/06 12:14  
Blogger honestus said...

i think i need to try at least half of these.

20/4/06 12:49  
Blogger honestus said...

Can i add one to the list...

Next time in Wal-Mart, start walking down the aisle next to all the registers and say real loud, 'Wow, that price is way too high!' and then start singing "I'm a little tea pot..."

20/4/06 12:51  
Blogger Steve DeGroof said...

Does Walmart even sell condoms? I'd think they'd be worried that it doesn't "promote family values". Even if they do sell them, they're probably in boxes of 50.

Actually, it might be more fun if they don't sell them. Then you could combine #1 (boxes of condoms in random carts) and Peter's suggestion (price check on non-stock item). Would be interesting to see the look on a shopper's face when the checkout clerk yells "Price check on a 12 pack of Trojan Enz!"

20/4/06 14:54  
Blogger Tara said...

Yeah they sell them, they're located by the Pharmacy...er...so I've heard.

20/4/06 15:38  
Blogger Steve DeGroof said...

Could still work, though. Just need to find a brand they don't carry.

21/4/06 19:37  
Blogger El Fid said...

...magic fingers...glow in the dark...cherry flavored...

24/4/06 11:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh Heh Heh, and here a was trying to figure out if walmart even sells condoms.

7/8/07 11:00  

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