Life is a Dish Best Served Fun
A reader asked today how one could go about enjoying life more. He or she apparently has not spent a lot of time thinking about this. Which is ok. He or she probably spends time thinking about other things that are equally important, but which for the moment cloud his or her enjoyment of life.
Well, since we're all here in this rowboat with nothing to do (particularly) for the next few minutes, let's throw out the question and see what we can come up with together. I'll go first.
How can Anonymous go about enjoying life more?
Well, first we need to know what exactly it is that Anonymous is doing too much of. I am a firm believer that when your life revolves too much around one finite arena it begins to feel stuffy and closed. We humans are marvelously big on the inside. Amazingly huge. It is difficult for anyone to remember all the cool aspects of one person at any given time. We sometimes even forget cool aspects of ourselves.
So, Anonymous, I'm afraid you're going to have to fess up and tell us what it is you do too much of. Whenever you're ready... we'll be waiting.
Next, we need to know what Anonymous is doing too little of. Obviously there are a myriad things that Anonymous may do infrequently or not at all so let me specify. We need to know what it is that Anonymous is good at or loves to do, but, for the moment (or the last several decades) Anonymous has not done. It could be several things. It usually is. List 'em out. Look at 'em.
Then, Anonymous, you need to take a look at your relationships. This is always a fun one, because we humans are so damn complex at any one time and we either put too much expectation on those closest to us or too little expectation. Finding balance is tricky. And even trickier is not blaming those who are close to us for our unhappiness. (We all do it. From time to time. Because it's easy and it feels right at first. But those of you who have really traveled that road will recognize these words: Dead End.)
Right. So you take the handful (or bucketful or thimbleful) of relationships you currently have in life and you look at them. Have any of them gone cold? Like dead fish. Are they starting to stink a bit? Corroded? Mildewed? How important are they to your life? (Please remember to look at relationships individually not as a lump of social obligations. I have exhibited very poor judgement in that arena in the past - baby/bathwater, you know how it goes.) Ask yourself one question: can I do something nice for this other person today? If you're currently angry with them then ask yourself if you need some space or if you need to tell them. If you just haven't kept in contact, then jolly well call them and have a ten minute chat. (And I know this is harder for guys than for girls, Anonymous, but I'm not taking any excuses.) The effect this will have on your life is like opening a window in your soul and letting the fresh air in.
So, to review:
1) What are you doing too much of? What is dull, dead and repetitive? Can you cut back on it or at least change the environment around that repetitiveness? How can you make it different?
2) What are you not doing enough of? (I assume you bathe regularly, but if not, please put that at the top of the list. You will feel better almost immediately. And speaking of which, one of these days try walking into the shower with all your clothes on. I highly recommend it.) No, seriously, there is probably something you really like/d and don't do nearly enough of currently. Figure out what it is and how you can put more of it in your life.
3) People: who, what, why, where. Take everybody's pulse and then think of something nice to do for them all. It helps. Especially since hopefully at least one of them will do something nice back which will make you feel even gooder.
4) And lastly, it is important to remember that sucky days are inevitable and should be taken with a grain of salt and an awareness that this will all pass and eventually THINGS WILL GET BETTER. They always do. (Things also always get worse, I'm sorry to say. I know it's not a very happy thought, but there it is. It's all a matter of which side of the cycle you're gonna focus on. I focus on the upside. Supposedly this makes me an optimist, but I think it's just laziness. Worrying burns calories and I burn enough doing absolutely nothing.)
Well, that's a rough version of my own philosophy and obviously not as tailored to Anonymous as I would like. I need to know more about him/her before I could confidently offer valid advice to his/her situation. Everybody's different, Anonymous. Your happiness is gonna look different than my happiness which looks different from ... somebody else's. The best part of enjoying life more is spending time thinking about what will make you happier and then doing it. Wheee! Doesn't that sound like fun?
Ok. Who else...
Well, since we're all here in this rowboat with nothing to do (particularly) for the next few minutes, let's throw out the question and see what we can come up with together. I'll go first.
How can Anonymous go about enjoying life more?
Well, first we need to know what exactly it is that Anonymous is doing too much of. I am a firm believer that when your life revolves too much around one finite arena it begins to feel stuffy and closed. We humans are marvelously big on the inside. Amazingly huge. It is difficult for anyone to remember all the cool aspects of one person at any given time. We sometimes even forget cool aspects of ourselves.
So, Anonymous, I'm afraid you're going to have to fess up and tell us what it is you do too much of. Whenever you're ready... we'll be waiting.
Next, we need to know what Anonymous is doing too little of. Obviously there are a myriad things that Anonymous may do infrequently or not at all so let me specify. We need to know what it is that Anonymous is good at or loves to do, but, for the moment (or the last several decades) Anonymous has not done. It could be several things. It usually is. List 'em out. Look at 'em.
Then, Anonymous, you need to take a look at your relationships. This is always a fun one, because we humans are so damn complex at any one time and we either put too much expectation on those closest to us or too little expectation. Finding balance is tricky. And even trickier is not blaming those who are close to us for our unhappiness. (We all do it. From time to time. Because it's easy and it feels right at first. But those of you who have really traveled that road will recognize these words: Dead End.)
Right. So you take the handful (or bucketful or thimbleful) of relationships you currently have in life and you look at them. Have any of them gone cold? Like dead fish. Are they starting to stink a bit? Corroded? Mildewed? How important are they to your life? (Please remember to look at relationships individually not as a lump of social obligations. I have exhibited very poor judgement in that arena in the past - baby/bathwater, you know how it goes.) Ask yourself one question: can I do something nice for this other person today? If you're currently angry with them then ask yourself if you need some space or if you need to tell them. If you just haven't kept in contact, then jolly well call them and have a ten minute chat. (And I know this is harder for guys than for girls, Anonymous, but I'm not taking any excuses.) The effect this will have on your life is like opening a window in your soul and letting the fresh air in.
So, to review:
1) What are you doing too much of? What is dull, dead and repetitive? Can you cut back on it or at least change the environment around that repetitiveness? How can you make it different?
2) What are you not doing enough of? (I assume you bathe regularly, but if not, please put that at the top of the list. You will feel better almost immediately. And speaking of which, one of these days try walking into the shower with all your clothes on. I highly recommend it.) No, seriously, there is probably something you really like/d and don't do nearly enough of currently. Figure out what it is and how you can put more of it in your life.
3) People: who, what, why, where. Take everybody's pulse and then think of something nice to do for them all. It helps. Especially since hopefully at least one of them will do something nice back which will make you feel even gooder.
4) And lastly, it is important to remember that sucky days are inevitable and should be taken with a grain of salt and an awareness that this will all pass and eventually THINGS WILL GET BETTER. They always do. (Things also always get worse, I'm sorry to say. I know it's not a very happy thought, but there it is. It's all a matter of which side of the cycle you're gonna focus on. I focus on the upside. Supposedly this makes me an optimist, but I think it's just laziness. Worrying burns calories and I burn enough doing absolutely nothing.)
Well, that's a rough version of my own philosophy and obviously not as tailored to Anonymous as I would like. I need to know more about him/her before I could confidently offer valid advice to his/her situation. Everybody's different, Anonymous. Your happiness is gonna look different than my happiness which looks different from ... somebody else's. The best part of enjoying life more is spending time thinking about what will make you happier and then doing it. Wheee! Doesn't that sound like fun?
Ok. Who else...
Labels: interactive, philosophy, wisdom
posted by k_sra at 2/03/2005 11:42:00 AM
3 Comments:
(I hope you don't mind my wandering off topic while we wait for our friend, [Anon]).
I really liked //Like dead fish.// At first, I thought, "That really should be a question - you're prompting with a potential answer with the purpose of getting a response. You'd raise your voice when saying it, so certainly there should be a question mark at the end." Then I realized that this would come out: "Like dead fish?" and that would just seem like an odd question. "To eat? Well, certainly more than live fish." Of course, placing a period there really fixes the issue nicely.
I'm glad you approve of my use of punctuation, World. ; )
Thanks for sharing. I'll spare you the needy-gritty details, but your comments and perspectives help to affirm the correctness of a decision I've (almost) made.
Now it's a matter of doing it. I think I've done enough of the proverbial "looking before".
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