The Blogger Bride

Well, I got my feelings hurt today. After ten minutes of carefully writing out an email proposal to a complete stranger on the internet, I come to find out he probably doesn't want to marry me. *sigh*
I'm hurt, Joey. Just hurt.

Was it something I said? See for yourself:

Dear Joey,
I'll be brief. I think we should get married. Right away. Without knowing each other or even meeting first. This way we can avoid having to change our minds or make a sensible decision. I think we'd be an ideal match: I'm precipitous and flighty and you're gloomy and cynical. I think we could look forward to a short, fiery marriage lasting tops five weeks.

I've enclosed a picture of myself looking left. (This should not be misconstrued as representing my political leanings.) I feel it represents looking toward the future... or the past. Whichever. I'm not looking at you, because I don't want to know what you look like. I might lose my nerve and change my mind. As an added bonus I smudged up the picture to make it look hazy and romantic.

If you need references (which I don't recommend in love matches such as this one) I can probably convince a couple of my friends to talk to you. Other reasons to consider marrying me right away without thinking about it:

  • I'm Protestant
  • I don't really cook
  • I don't like heavy-drinking
  • I've never sustained a relationship longer than three months

Lemme know. I'm all a-twitter!
(Ok, not all a-twitter)

For a list of Joey's requirements, click here and scroll down.

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Blogger Worldgineer said...

Wow, that's messed up. Maybe he's Catholic.

17/5/05 10:06  
Blogger k_sra said...


17/5/05 10:09  
Blogger El Fid said...

I'd recommend you, ksra. Let me know, Joey, if you need any character info re: ksra. I can vouch for the non-drinking, but she can make a mean pickle platter.

17/5/05 11:24  
Blogger Joel said...

Joey, I also want to point out that k_sra looks like a white Russian (even though she is not Russian).

And she has other talents. For instance, she borrows other people's cars. If you were going to be on that TV show "Amazing Race" she would be the perfect partner: she can finagle transportation, carry a backpack (or two!), and bum train fare from complete strangers. Plus, she looks like a white Russian. You never know when that could be useful. I'm sure that other NYC gal is very nice too, but still, think carefully. White Russian.

17/5/05 12:29  
Blogger spizzer said...

I'd made up in my mind long ago that ksra was an NYC gal, despite having no evidence for it whatsoever. I guess I'll have to rearrange things in my head.

17/5/05 18:05  
Blogger k_sra said...

Spizzer, it really makes no difference where you think I am, because I'm not there. So go ahead and think of me as a NYC gal. Go ahead. No, really. I mean it.

18/5/05 07:44  
Blogger Temple said...

Sorry, typing boo boo...k_sra I mean to say... :)

18/5/05 14:12  
Blogger David said...

I want to see the picture of you looking left.

20/5/05 18:56  

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