Conversation with my Blog

Yes, Blog. I know you're there. I know you have been waiting silently, patiently for my return. I know I have at times been far away and have given little to no explanation. I am sorry. And even though you accept that my life is changing I can tell you want me back. You speak to me sometimes at night when I am going to sleep and you tell me how much you miss me and I feel a tinge of guilt as I pull my covers higher over my face to shut you out. I have a different life now: a car, a boyfriend, occasionally, even regular income. I want to come back to you. I do -- to have again what we once had, but I don't know if that is possible. At least not in the same way.

I know you're unhappy. You don't even have to say it. I can feel it. And what's more, I'm unhappy, too. I want us to be the best team we can be. I want us to try. I want this to work. For better or worse, Blog, I think we were meant to be.

So I've taken the liberty of getting you something. It's not much and I know you deserve much more, but I hope you will take it as a gesture of how much I care about you. You mean a great deal to me. Let's give our love another chance...

I found this on the side of the road on my way to an Indians game. It reminded me of us. Well, actually it reminded me of Found Magazine. But before I send it to them, I wanted you to have it.

See? I really do care.

I once had a crush on a boy with the initials D.M. I used to call him "my sweet poison" because seeing him would throw my insides into such heights of earth-rendering emotion. I feel your pain, girlfriend. I hope your note to self worked for you (before you crumpled it up and threw it into the street) and that you eventually stopped bugging Ms. Davidson about D.M.

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Anonymous neilp said...

at least, we assume it was written by a girl, not a boy trying to disguise his hand writing, and his true feelings.

16/5/06 23:16  
Blogger Worldgineer said...

I bet D.M. moved away without saying goodbye. He didn't know much about the little religious girl in the back of the class, though he did catch her staring at him occasionally. Ms. Davidson doesn't really know anything more than Suzie, that Mr. M. found a job as a lizard trainer in the Phoenix reptile circus and took the entire M. family to their new home.

Oh, and [k_sra], I've talked to your blog and I think it's happy that you're making the attempt.

17/5/06 09:17  
Blogger Tara said...

I used to call him "my sweet poison" because seeing him would throw my insides into such heights of earth-rendering emotion.

I am kind of going through that now with a guy. Thank you for putting it into words, KSarahsarah. You complete me. :D

17/5/06 09:28  
Blogger honestus said...

Blogs can be kind of demanding. Love is the best medicine.

17/5/06 12:28  
Blogger k_sra said...

Love isn't demanding, honestus? I think it places great demands! And by that I mean the best demands possible. Demands to be happy and giddy whenever you see, touch, hear from, or think of that person. Demands to tell someone how wonderful they are, think of things to do that will show them how special they are. Demands that you realize that you are irreplaceable on the face of the earth to someone you love. If that's not demanding I don't know what is! : )

neilp, you may be on to something...

World, thanks for intervening(sp). I think the Blog and I just needed to try a little harder and move each other's way to find some middle ground.

Tara, good luck with that. I've not found that the "sweet poison" feeling really mixes much with real time love for a worthy person. For me it's usually grounded in fantasy so that explains it. I hope you're keeping extra boys on the side... no really, keep some boys on the side.

17/5/06 14:32  

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