POWER!

*cue evil laughter and electrical storm*

Oh my, it's nice to have the juice again. I came home to a home this evening after almost five days without electricity, seeing my house a home again brought tears to my eyes, I am not ashamed to say.

I celebrated by turning on every light, turning on the TV, the computer, the fans and the shredder. Then I did a happy dance and turned them all off again... well, all but a few. : )

I'm going to take the longest, hottest shower of my life.

Thanks for sharing the experience with me!

What!?! No POWER??!?!!!

I feel like using lots of exclamation points today. OK??!?!?!!

Day Five sans electricity and we've made the evening news. i can't link to the video for some reason, but suffice it to say that Channel 3 got off their butts when an old lady from our building called them to say what a bad job the supplier (Illuminating Company) was doing at keeping her alive. Channel 3 apparently roamed her house with a camera and a flashlight and she showed them all the things that she can't handle alone. Very sad. But still not sad enough to return our mystical power source to its proper opperating condition.

Ray-Ray called them again today and they assured him they are doing everything they can to turn our power back on. "They guaranteed us power by midnight on Sunday," he told me.

How nice. Just in time for some late night running around to turn things off...

(picture is of someone else's house illuminated with flashlight. creepy)

Day 4: No Power

Since hurricane Ike blew through 84 of Ohio's 88 counties, I have been without electrical power along with about one million other people. We lost electricity on Sunday evening just before the much anticipated Steelers-Browns game... which we also lost. : (

Four days later and there is still no power in the quaint subdivision that I call home. I live in an apartment building. Some 200 other residents live here also. None of us have power, hot water or even cellphone coverage. So, we may not be in Galvaston and we may have a roof over our heads, but we're definitely having a ripe ol' taste of Hurricane Ike's wrath.

15 Things You'll Do When You've Lost Power For 4 Days:

1. carry a flashlight to your car every morning


2. take your cellphone charger to work


3. shower at work or at a friend's house


4. leave what little produce you have on the porch during the night to stay cool


5. buy only what you can eat in the next two hours


6. flip light switches because you "forget"


7. grumble because you flipped a light switch, which reminded you you have no power


8. check on your parapalegic neighbor who hasn't been able to leave the building since Sunday


9. go to bed at 9:00pm


10. stop wearing makeup because you can't find your makeup kit


11. throw away that watermelon you were keeping on the porch because it's gone bad


12. realize just how stinky your fridge is without cold air in it


13. wash your dishes with soap and cold water


14. start to really miss hot meals and cold drinks


15. lose your sense of humor about the whole thing when your husband leaves for a 3 day business trip to someplace with electricity

Someday soon (hopefully) this will all be just a memory; an academic exercise in being resourceful and grateful. And I will be the normal person with other rather normal and not-too-important things to complain about. In the meantime though... :(

E-LEC-TRI-CITY

I just wanted to here state how grateful I am for the gift of electricity. Having been without it for two days now, I realize how very fortunate and blessed I am to take electricity for granted most of the time. Thank you, Ike, for helping me be more appreciative!

As a "thank you" gift, I am going to donate the cost of one week's electricity to hurricane victims in the southern states via the Red Cross. You can use your cellphone to donate $5 to the Disaster Relief Fund by texting the keyword "GIVE" to "2HELP" (24357). Donations will appear on monthly bills or be debited from a prepaid account balance.

B.L.U.E. - Photo Scavenger Hunt

Today's Scavenger Hunt is both personal and local. I am featured in all of the shots, for starters, so this is an autobiographical scavenger hunt. Secondly, these pictures, which span the last four years of my life, were all taken in Cleveland, Ohio. Enjoy.

And it's my turn to pick a word! that word is ONE



'B' IS FOR BELONGING. Being a part of a larger whole. Technically this picture doesn't 'belong' here, though. It was actually taken in PA, not Ohio, but I'm wearing a blue sari, so what do you want from me?:












'L' IS FOR LOOKING.Wanting something different. Like a blue wig, maybe? or longer pants?:













'U' IS FOR UNDEFEATED. Ten wins, as of today! [ed note; and then they lost the the Mariners. idiots.] Go Indians!:















'E' IS FOR ELF. He may drive a small sports car, but he has a big bodyguard...and a tall wife. Who is not me, by the way:

Just Say No To Abstinence

Ohio did just that.

The abstinence-until-marriage programs in the state of Ohio recently came under heavy fire. The AIDS taskforce of Ohio asked that state funding for the no-sex-till-marriage programs be withheld until proof for their efficacy can be shown. The programs, which began under Pres. Clinton, took on added steam and additional funding under Bush (no surprise there). Ohio law requires sex ed to promote and "emphasize" that abstinence from sexual activity is the only 100% effective means of protecting oneself from STD's and unwanted pregnancy (ORC 3313.60). Whereas most non-profit organizations must match their government funds with their own funding, the state of Ohio matches the funds for the abstinence-only programs. The US government doesn't care who matches it, just so long as it's matched. But the Ohio AIDS taskforce does care. You see, the AIDS taskforce has to match their own funds and would much rather see state funds go directly to AIDS patients than to be 'thrown down the drain' in an attempt to rally Ohio teens around the no-nookie flagpole. You can't blame them. The abstinence only programs are not only syphoning off large amounts of state funding, they also blatantly advertise hetero-monogamy as "God's plan for our lives." As it turns out federal funding may not be used for religious purposes, don't you know, which gives the AIDS taskforce a nice little platform on which to launch an assault.

It's not the only platform though. Studies show that whereas the no-sex-till-wed programs muster a lot of enthusiasm, the numbers of STD's and pregnancies among the students who signed up to "keep themselves pure" were just as high as teens exposed to (no pun intended) "safe-sex" programs. In other words, it wasn't necessarily working.

I find this interesting; this battle raging over what to tell the kids. What will work best. What will make those pesky numbers of chlamydia and gonorrhea cases drop. How to get the number of teen pregnancies down, etc. It is already and has been for some time a wild, overgrown weed patch in our national psyche. A word to the wise is no longer sufficient. The world is dangerous and ignorance is anything but bliss.

But as for the notion that a child equipped with a condom is "safer" than a child without is a total crock. It does hurt a thirteen year old girl's feelings to get plowed under by some boy or man in their pursuit of the national past time. I remain unconvinced that there is any thirteen year old in this country who would benefit by having sex.

So... is Cheryl Biddle, executive director of Abstinence the Better Choice, justified in saying "we want to balance the scale" by continuing a message of abstinence only in Ohio and is that "balance" worth $455,000 in state funding? Or is the idea of preaching abstinence worth the government's money only if you also hand out cherry-flavored condoms?

One last thought before I descend my soap box:

Learning to put on a condom without also learning to protect your heart seems an ass-backwards way to protect the young of this country.

Seeing the Indians on a Budget

Step one: win a work-sponsored singing contest; prize is two free tickets to the Indians.

Step two: bring your best friend from high school who's loaded and ready to party.

Step three: have supper at your sister's house before hand.

Step four: take a minor set-back at the concession stand when you end up with a lemon-ice, a water, a hotdog, waffle fries, and a beer.

Step five: conveniently forget about step four.

Step six: resist urge to stop in for the last showing of "Dark Knight" at movie theater on the way home.

This is a tried and true method for enjoying the Indians baseball Team at a home game on a budget. Hope that helps you enjoy a fiscal, Cleveland Summer!

(Some great pics Tara took at the Ballpark)

Labor Day Fashion

I have it on good authority that you should never wear white after Labor Day. So I did: white short-pants and white open-toe-sandals. I'll be the scandal of all of Cleveland. I'll have to speed through Beachwood tonight so as not to be hauled from my vehicle and made into a public example.

On another purely tangential note: I went to Cedar Point with Raymond on Friday. Top-Thrills Dragster took my breath away, the Magnum tried to take my hat away, and the Millenium Force (we sat at the front) decided to give rather than take. Raymond and I had several dead bugs to show for ourselves on the fronts of our shirts. We laughed ourselves sick. (Oh, and the new ride, the Maverick, is really quite wild. I would have liked it more if it hadn't tossed my head about quite so much.)

And for those of you State-side, what did your weekend produce in the way of entertainment and relaxations?

A Formal Complaint

Cleveland, you stink! Not only do you smell bad in the literal sense (especially during Summer), but you also stink as a town that offers care and comfort to its inhabitants.

Case in point. It is Spring. The calendar says so. In fact, it's been Spring for almost three weeks now. Last Tuesday you graced us with a record high of 80 degrees. We rejoiced. We wore shorts. We packed our Winter clothes. We basked in the returning sunshine. And now this. WHAT IS YOUR DEAL? Two feet of snow and still falling? Are you crazy? This is Easter! My nephews had to hunt for eggs inside this year, because you just had to inflict us with your crazy weather patterns. (Is this global warming? Then why isn't it warm?) We missed four Indians games because of you (although, it probably just saves us the embarassement of losing.) and now we have to crawl into work on a Monday morning in SPRING! wearing the coats and boots we moth-balled when you teased us with warm weather.

It's just sickening.

And to think, I was about to take my Christmas tree down!

How cold was it?

Last night the temperature in Cleveland dipped to a chilly -19ºF (that's -28ºC). Right now on a Monday morning, we're bristling with a sunny, but chilly 1ºF.



Why!?! Winter, why? *breaks down crying*

Tales of a Clevelander

This list is an old joke list. I've heard it before, but there is something head-shake worthy about some of the surprisingly delightful retardations of being a Clevelander. So I give them to you (some favesd highlighted). True Cleveland Dwellers will more readily understand...

It's only soda if it's orange soda, otherwise it's pop. It's dinner, not supper. If you get the head nod, you know you are part of the crew. If you are white and act like a thug be prepared to run. We are home to Bone Thugs and Harmony. We are home to The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, and Red Right 88. We are the reason stadiums don't have glass bottles. You laugh when someone tells you Lake Erie isn't polluted. You are used to the dead fish smell after it rains. People are trained to talk on television like us. Buffalo Wild Wings is aka BW3. The Dawg Pound is heaven. We know the Browns suck, the Indians sorta suck, and we haven't won a championship in over 40 years. But we've got LeBron so we don't care. Lake effect snow is a given. Our river caught on fire not once, but 3 times. You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999. You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood. You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath. You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry and you support it, but don't quite understand it. You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga. You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart. You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the 200 yard long stretch of a suburb named Linndale. You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying. St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and even if you aren't Irish. You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one. You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away. You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City. You know Tower City isn't a city at all. You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl. You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999, when the Browns came back. You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. You live less than 30 minutes from some college or university. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones. Toward the lake means north, and toward the river means south. You measure distance in minutes. You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: Where's my coat at? You carry jumper cables in your car. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 6 pages for sports. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Conversation with my Blog

Yes, Blog. I know you're there. I know you have been waiting silently, patiently for my return. I know I have at times been far away and have given little to no explanation. I am sorry. And even though you accept that my life is changing I can tell you want me back. You speak to me sometimes at night when I am going to sleep and you tell me how much you miss me and I feel a tinge of guilt as I pull my covers higher over my face to shut you out. I have a different life now: a car, a boyfriend, occasionally, even regular income. I want to come back to you. I do -- to have again what we once had, but I don't know if that is possible. At least not in the same way.

I know you're unhappy. You don't even have to say it. I can feel it. And what's more, I'm unhappy, too. I want us to be the best team we can be. I want us to try. I want this to work. For better or worse, Blog, I think we were meant to be.

So I've taken the liberty of getting you something. It's not much and I know you deserve much more, but I hope you will take it as a gesture of how much I care about you. You mean a great deal to me. Let's give our love another chance...

I found this on the side of the road on my way to an Indians game. It reminded me of us. Well, actually it reminded me of Found Magazine. But before I send it to them, I wanted you to have it.

See? I really do care.



I once had a crush on a boy with the initials D.M. I used to call him "my sweet poison" because seeing him would throw my insides into such heights of earth-rendering emotion. I feel your pain, girlfriend. I hope your note to self worked for you (before you crumpled it up and threw it into the street) and that you eventually stopped bugging Ms. Davidson about D.M.

Dance!

Resting Place

This photo was recovered from my cell phone this afternoon after a long bus ride across town which happened to pass by this small cemetery. Would you like to be buried here? Within view of this enormous Church? I would not. Not only is it on a major busline, it's directly across the street from a Discount Drug Mart. That's right. The final resting place of these few poor souls is at gravestone level with the parking lot of a ghetto-fabulous drug store. A discount drug store. I'm pretty sure that when St. Patrick's chose the corner of Puritas and Rocky River Drive in 1851 it was probably a spacious lovely area. A fitting burial place for devout Catholic believers of the parish. But now... yes, now. Not the same.
But whereas we are skiddish of such garish juxtaposes and quiver at the thought of Slurpee cups tossed over the fence onto our memorial plaques, I doubt the dead mind it nearly so much as we do and it would certainly be a sobering sight for any would-be robbers. They are such even-minded folk, the dead. Sometimes I admire them for their composure. Or decomposure. However you want to look at it.

Local Giant Snowman

Could it be that Akron plans to invade Stow by offering this snowman crammed with local footballers?

Odds on Campbell

Considering that Mayor Jane Campbell has a history of showing up to scheduled events quite late or not at all, what are the odds on her arrival this morning? Let's start taking bets.

Place the odds on these three:

Shows up on time

Shows up half hour to an hour late

Doesn't show

Update:

She showed! And not just that, she arrived on time (if you consider 6 minutes late "on time") and stayed a full hour instead of just the fifteen minutes scheduled. She at least answered all of the (angry) questions of her constituents, even if she didn't always answer them well. I can tell when a politician is running out of answers when they devolve into oppponent-bashing. According to Mayor Campbell her opponent Frank Jackson is: unconcerned with the poor of Cleveland, not a team player, easily angered, obstinent, and a poor problem solver.

A typical Cleveland morning

Yesterday was a good day, despite having seen a dead body on the city streets on the way in to work. Yep, even a hit and run victim under a sheet in front of a convenience store two blocks from my office couldn't put a dint in my day! Clear skies (except for the clouds), fresh air and cops for miles around swarming in with lights flashing, marking off distances from the head of the deceased to the curb! A beautiful day!

Even the young hoodlums who got on at the very next stop from the scene were quiet and calm, talking in hushed voices of the sprangled position of the body they had seen before it was covered up. And how politely they got out of the way as I made my way off the bus at my stop! So obliging. So charming. This whole city. Feel the love!

NaNoWriMo - Cleveland Style

NaNoWriMo, the site that launched a thousand books, apparently has a bonus feature (that I just noticed) to encourage its aspiring novelists: Regional Affiliations! Pods of novelist wannabes gathering in local pubs and coffe shops and swapping gripes and hopes and time-tested month-long-novel-writing tips! This can only mean one thing: Cleveland NaNo's. I feel them in the air. They are closer than I think. Their bookish brains teaming with off-hand remarks and friendly book-writing ribbery.
In fact they're having a kick off party on the 30th at the Beechwood Library.

Sweet Day in the Morning, this is going to be fun!

My Vacation Home

Have I mentioned my preoccupation with clouds before? It stems from living in a town where the only frame of reference I have for nature is frequently the clouds. And we have a lot of them. These particular clouds have nothing to do with Cleveland. I suspect these stunners hung over Japan once upon a time.

Hell No, We Won't Go!

Q: What's worse than living in a giant stadium with no privacy, no posessions and no home?

A: Living in Cleveland. Apparently.


Mayor Jane Campbell announced shortly after Hurricane Katrina to a polite crowd of Clevelanders that Cleveland was opening its doors and its hearts to a thousand evacuees from Hurricane Katrina. The beds were made, the water bottles stacked, the temporary housing was all in place. And Cleveland waited. And waited. And waited.

Word slowly trickled back from the Astrodome: No one wanted to come. Awww, poor Cleveland! So, FEMA decided that rather than let Cleveland feel like the unpopular kid at the lunch table clutching his bag of off-brand chips and his dinted apple, that they were going to force 500 people to relocate to Cleveland. (I'm laughing so hard as I write this that I'm having trouble seeing my keyboard.) The poor bastards!

Welcome! : )