HERE IT IS!

They found it. Call off your dogs. : )

Arugula Pig-Stick

Wow, have you ever seen the mud-slinging quite this ugly before? It must require thick skin to run for any office, let alone the Presidency of the United States!

In Obama's case, a colorful analogy just turned a pig, into a rampaging Republican elephant.

I have to say that the pig in lipstick comment certainly did not seem to be directed to the 'lipstick pitbull,' Sarah Palin, as is now being charged. And I think the Republicans could do without the petty, toe-stepping at this point. But I guess the GOP sees this as an opening in the gender gap and are swinging the axe to deepen the divide.

Then again, Obama did "accidentally" flip off Hillary Clinton in the primaries, so maybe he's "not that innocent" after all.

Honestly, I doubt Obama is ready to lead a nation. He comes off these days as a petulant teenager, whining about not getting his way. I think if he can stay calm and unaffected then the GOP will have to do the legwork to prove their ticket, but if he keeps saying, "Come on!" and "Gimme a break!" all the time, people are going to see him as a weak candidate. What do you think?

Obama-Drama vs. Palin-Railin'

Politics is the new Celebrity this fall and expect everyone to get in on the act! Here's my favorite photo of the Great Black Hope. (Why do people forget he's half-white? I think that's racist. But then again, I also think McCain looks like a lopsided T-rex and Sarah Palin's voice is kind of grating.)

I think this election will go down a lot easier for me if I just focus on really trite superficial things like staging a "Cute-Off" for which nominee's kids are cuter, pitting Michelle Obama's wardrobe against Cindy McCain's and just generally accepting that for all the hoopla, Washington is gonna look a lot like Washington come January, no matter who gets elected. That's the way this country was set up, goll darn it, and that's the way it's gonna be!

And don't forget, gentle reader, if you find yourself inspired by soaring rhetoric or storming at the opposition, America is run by humans. That's right, I said it: humans. So, we kinda get what we deserve.


(One human hugging another human. Sort of.)

I'm with this lady. Let's crawl under the table and compare what Obamas and Bidens are eating for breakfast!

Just Say No To Abstinence

Ohio did just that.

The abstinence-until-marriage programs in the state of Ohio recently came under heavy fire. The AIDS taskforce of Ohio asked that state funding for the no-sex-till-marriage programs be withheld until proof for their efficacy can be shown. The programs, which began under Pres. Clinton, took on added steam and additional funding under Bush (no surprise there). Ohio law requires sex ed to promote and "emphasize" that abstinence from sexual activity is the only 100% effective means of protecting oneself from STD's and unwanted pregnancy (ORC 3313.60). Whereas most non-profit organizations must match their government funds with their own funding, the state of Ohio matches the funds for the abstinence-only programs. The US government doesn't care who matches it, just so long as it's matched. But the Ohio AIDS taskforce does care. You see, the AIDS taskforce has to match their own funds and would much rather see state funds go directly to AIDS patients than to be 'thrown down the drain' in an attempt to rally Ohio teens around the no-nookie flagpole. You can't blame them. The abstinence only programs are not only syphoning off large amounts of state funding, they also blatantly advertise hetero-monogamy as "God's plan for our lives." As it turns out federal funding may not be used for religious purposes, don't you know, which gives the AIDS taskforce a nice little platform on which to launch an assault.

It's not the only platform though. Studies show that whereas the no-sex-till-wed programs muster a lot of enthusiasm, the numbers of STD's and pregnancies among the students who signed up to "keep themselves pure" were just as high as teens exposed to (no pun intended) "safe-sex" programs. In other words, it wasn't necessarily working.

I find this interesting; this battle raging over what to tell the kids. What will work best. What will make those pesky numbers of chlamydia and gonorrhea cases drop. How to get the number of teen pregnancies down, etc. It is already and has been for some time a wild, overgrown weed patch in our national psyche. A word to the wise is no longer sufficient. The world is dangerous and ignorance is anything but bliss.

But as for the notion that a child equipped with a condom is "safer" than a child without is a total crock. It does hurt a thirteen year old girl's feelings to get plowed under by some boy or man in their pursuit of the national past time. I remain unconvinced that there is any thirteen year old in this country who would benefit by having sex.

So... is Cheryl Biddle, executive director of Abstinence the Better Choice, justified in saying "we want to balance the scale" by continuing a message of abstinence only in Ohio and is that "balance" worth $455,000 in state funding? Or is the idea of preaching abstinence worth the government's money only if you also hand out cherry-flavored condoms?

One last thought before I descend my soap box:

Learning to put on a condom without also learning to protect your heart seems an ass-backwards way to protect the young of this country.

Democratic Squirrels

Hahahahaha! (I'm sorry.) Hahahahahaha! HA! (excuse me.)

To the Dreamer

I want to honor a man who spoke about what was hideous and dared believe in something that was beautiful. He is one of my heros.

"I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become reality. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word."

~Martin Luther King Jr.

Tom Noe Before and Afters

I guess the moral of this story is, "don't invest in rare coins."

What Do They Have In Common?

What do Britney Spears and Donald Rumsfeld have in common?
(hint: pics are links)

Daily Lunch Bagger 9/27/06

Let's face it, with a new job position (I got a promotion before I got hired!) and the learning curve it will indubitably carry, I won't have the wherewithall to post a daily lunch bag. Let alone a daily post. For a short while. (I don't actually have a lunch break at the moment, so technically there's not an actual lunch time in which to Blog.)

And there it is.

But for today I give you a little "aww" moment: Shasta Saved! (See? Some dogs do go to live on a farm when they get old!) Also note that barfing is bad and raw meat is a "dangeous" fad. Yuck. This Lunch Bag is turning ugly....

How about let's turn our attention to immigration? In the mid 90's, do you know who the top sending countries were for naturalized US Citizens? Check it out.

And for diss-ert, a little Grumble Cake from the local news...

B.Y.O.C.

Fidel Castro brought his own chickens to the U.S. when he came for a visit. Little did he know there was a KFC just down the street. But then, I guess dictators can do whatever they want. Even carry their own poultry.

Bizarre Kennedy Death of the Day

Do you know how Joe Kennedy Jr. died? Testing how much explosives a plane could hold without exploding. He never found out. And they never found him. But then, you try flying a plane full of explosives and see how you like it!

Tax Man Cometh

A little article on US taxes versus the rest of the world.

Happy Anniversary, Charles and Camilla!

Celebrating one year together as a married couple.
(pictured above: the couple in 1970 when they met.)

Who Died Today

Seems that November 22nd was a good day in history to die:

1718 The Pirate Blackbeard (British bastard of the high seas)
1873 Horatio Spafford's four daughters drown (prompting the hymn, It Is Well With My Soul)
1896 George Washington Gale Ferris (invented the Ferris Wheel)
1955 Shemp Howard (actor, 3 Stooges)
1963 Aldous Huxley (author, Brave new World)
1963 C.S. Lewis (author, Narnia Chronicles)
1963 JFK (American president, good with the ladies [bad year for the world!])
1980 Mae West (American actress, not pretty but very sassy)
1993 Bill Bixby (actor, My Favorite Martian)

Odds on Campbell

Considering that Mayor Jane Campbell has a history of showing up to scheduled events quite late or not at all, what are the odds on her arrival this morning? Let's start taking bets.

Place the odds on these three:

Shows up on time

Shows up half hour to an hour late

Doesn't show

Update:

She showed! And not just that, she arrived on time (if you consider 6 minutes late "on time") and stayed a full hour instead of just the fifteen minutes scheduled. She at least answered all of the (angry) questions of her constituents, even if she didn't always answer them well. I can tell when a politician is running out of answers when they devolve into oppponent-bashing. According to Mayor Campbell her opponent Frank Jackson is: unconcerned with the poor of Cleveland, not a team player, easily angered, obstinent, and a poor problem solver.

Crawling Stones Word Search

Wanna know why I can't finish this thing? It's too boring. I've tried to complete it and I just don't care. I don't care about it any more than Bush cares about black people.

Hell No, We Won't Go!

Q: What's worse than living in a giant stadium with no privacy, no posessions and no home?

A: Living in Cleveland. Apparently.


Mayor Jane Campbell announced shortly after Hurricane Katrina to a polite crowd of Clevelanders that Cleveland was opening its doors and its hearts to a thousand evacuees from Hurricane Katrina. The beds were made, the water bottles stacked, the temporary housing was all in place. And Cleveland waited. And waited. And waited.

Word slowly trickled back from the Astrodome: No one wanted to come. Awww, poor Cleveland! So, FEMA decided that rather than let Cleveland feel like the unpopular kid at the lunch table clutching his bag of off-brand chips and his dinted apple, that they were going to force 500 people to relocate to Cleveland. (I'm laughing so hard as I write this that I'm having trouble seeing my keyboard.) The poor bastards!

Welcome! : )

Red: Not Just For Necks Anymore

Nice Tats, Dude! Don't hide that southern pride!

Who's Helping The Upperdog?

Just a few of the 95 nations sending aid to the US for disaster relief efforts:

South Korea $30,000,000
India $5,000,000
Japan $200,000 and quadruple that in supplies
Afganhistan $100,000
Sri Lanka $25,000
Germany MRE's, high-speed pumps, forensic experts

It's almost embarrassing how much aid is coming our way. And also kind of touching. Sri Lanka is still wrapped in the fog of recent tsunami damage. There were reports of aid offerings waiting US approval and even some that were outright rejected. Iran in particular was turned away, but ostensiably because they offered crude oil in exchange for a lift on the trade embargo and apparently the US wasn't feeling it.

Kuci Kuci Cooh

On Sunday, Miss Elizabeth Harper of Upminster England married Senator Dennis Kucinich, 31 years her senior and several inches her shorter. He says, "It was love at first sight." She didn't say much of anything. His third wife remains a mystery to the public. We know they met in his office and that he fell instantly in love.
I wonder if she knew she didn't have to marry a leprechaun to get a Green Card.