Bedtime Story

Once upon a time there was a man. He looked like other men and thought like other men, but he was not like other men. He was tall. Taller than other men around him. ANd he stuck out like a sore thumb. This tall man tried very hard to fit in the chairs that society had made for him. He stooped under doorways and crouched into cars. He folded himself to get on the bus and even rolled himself up to carpool with his fellow workers. But secretly he longed to be average. He looked with envy on the short little men who walked into stores and ice cream parlors without banging their heads and without slouching so far down that they had breathing problems. If only, he thought, I could stand up straight in the world. If only I didn't have to slouch just to get along.

One day as he hunkered over his computer screen on his short desk in his teeny swivel chair, a co-worker stopped by and said, "Hey man, why don't you take up biking?"

So he did. He bought the tallest bike he could (it still wasn't tall enough) and he walked slowly to the end of his street. He placed one leg on either side of his bicycle and sat. He pedalled forward and began to pick up speed. Soon he was going down a long hill, pedalling faster and faster, the wind whistling past his ears and his hair. He clung to the handlebars as the houses on either side raced by....
(How do you think the story continues?)

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Blogger Worldgineer said...

I think he ends up in a land of giants, and grows to hate being small.

Or he is hit by a car and loses his legs below his knees. Doctors are able to fit his feet to his knees and he live happily ever after.

21/7/06 14:19  
Blogger Tara said...

A basketball scout sees him and is impressed with his height and soon after the tall man becomes one of the best basketball players in the land. He earns enough money to hire an architect to build him a special house and special furniture so that he doesn't have to slouch.

21/7/06 15:00  
Blogger Tara said...

Oh and a special car too, so he doesn't have to slouch in there either. The end.

21/7/06 15:00  
Blogger lostdog said...

I imagine he ends up going so fast on his tiny bike that he actually travels back in time, where he collides with a Victorian gentleman riding a Penny Farthing. As they're both getting up and dusting themselves off, each has a moment of epiphany as they spot each other's mode of conveyance - they swop vehicles, and both ride off into their respective sunsets, both living happily ever after. Albeit with one lost in time on a penny farthing.

21/7/06 16:19  
Blogger Diva said...

In cycling, he realized he had found his calling. He entered the Tour de France, won, and married Sheryl Crow. While reciting his vows to Sheryl during their wedding ceremony, he was quoted to say, "I'm strong enough to be your man."

22/7/06 09:14  
Anonymous normzone said...

Both Fat Cyclist and The Incredible Shrinking Man have blogs about bicycling to lose weight.

But neither of them face the challenge of losing an estimated ten tons of weight that our hero does.

So he takes up cycling and blogging. Sadly enough, in his world the internet and computers have not been invented yet.

23/7/06 20:32  
Anonymous normzone said...

OK, obviously the alternative universe normzone who made the above annotation did not pay close attention to the story, or he would have seen the reference to the computer cleverly encoded in the text.

In THIS universe, the computer HAS been invented, so the blogging was a huge success. He eventually became sponsored by an assortment of bike product manufacturers, and while he never did lose all ten tons, he made many friends.

24/7/06 00:07  
Anonymous uncle jim said...

i hope none of you are planning on quitting your day jobs soon ... these endings are bad - now get back in there and try again!

24/7/06 21:22  
Blogger honestus said...

is that a deleted scene from BIG? kinda looks like Tom Hanks...

26/7/06 07:55  

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