3.08.2007

In Response To Nigerian Spam

DR MRS BENNY OKOH.
OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS,
INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT,
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.

Hello Dr. Mrs. (which is it?),

ATTENTION BENEFICIARY:THIS IS TO OFFICIALY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT /INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FUFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT / INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

Wow. I didn't even know that why I had an inheritance file! Who did I inherit that from?

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU.

I think you mean "Nuns," and yes, I too thought it was fishy that the bank was staffed with Sisters.

WE WISH TO ADVICE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.

I certainly wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of international law, especially considering you guys have already opened an inheritance file on me! Good thing you adviced me about that. Tell me what to do, Dr. Mrs!

RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION BY THE PRESIDENT CHIEF OLUSEGUN OBASANJO (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.

So, let me get this straight: the President of your country told you to get me my inheritance through the Swift Card Program located in Center Asia Pacific? Wow. He really is involved with the small stuff, isn't he?

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD,

Sweet!

BUT THE MAXIMUM IS ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS PER DAY,

Doh!

SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:

I Loves Me Some Free Money! = )

PERSONAL DATA"S: (love the plural!)
FULLNAME Mundo Belch Shipley
ADDRESS 1 Pencilnek Dr. (P.OBOX NOT ACCEPTABLE)
CITY Yellowstone Park
STATE Wyoming
COUNTRY Florida
SEX Not currently
AGE 16
MARITAL STATUS Divorced
OCUPATION Lawn and Garden Care Facilitator
FAX/TELEPHONENUMBER 876-921-3321
NATIONALITY Floridian


CONTACT PERSON: DR.UJU MADU INTEGRATED PAYMENT DEPARTMENT

*writes down* Dr. Mrs. Uju Madu-du

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $8,300,000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2007.

That is SO much money! I am totally inheriting that!

ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s). THIS IS TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN FINALIZING YOUR PAYMENT.

Sure don't want those hitches! What rhymes with hitches? You guessed it: Legal Problems!

NOTE: THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (811) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER.

Very comforting to know you have Code of Conduct. So many unscrupulous people have none whatsoever. Thank you, Dr. Mrs. Madu-du. I look forward to getting my inheritance ATM card any day!

Love,
Mundo B. S.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous normzone said...

While I used to tease these guys and the phishers, they retaliated by spamming my previously pristine eddress.

So I no longer play that game, as satisfing as it was.

ixklnho: A sex worker with a successful pottery manufacturing facility.

8/3/07 21:08  
Blogger k_sra said...

Yeah, not quite worth the payback, is it? I love the 419 scammers though.

12/3/07 12:02  

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