Dennis the Menace

I met Dennis.

I arrived late to a memorial held downtown for our fallen soldiers in Iraq. (The national total recently hit 1,800. Thirteen from my state in this week alone.)

Though the main event was over, the feeding frenzy was not. Camera crews and photographers and politicians were in full affect. I went, with a work camera, to pay my respects (or some sort of inadequate honor) to men and women who had entered the service willingly and who had died in foreign lands. I wandered in and among the crowd, picking up bits of conversations, snapping pictures now and then. As I was leaving I saw Senator Dennis in a dark pinstripe. He was being ernestly talked to by another man, also in a dark pinstripe. As I walked past I tried to click a casual picture that he wouldn't notice. It came out horrible. As I walked away, I knew I would never forgive myself if I didn't go back and get a picture of him or with him.

The only other time I have ever seen Kuci (in person, not those horrible imp-like posters and TV spots: seriously people, he looks like a gremlin) was on the streets of Cleveland, getting out of the most beautiful Black Ferrari and walking toward me accompanied by a tall, black man in a faded leather jacket. One thing about Kuci, he's not short in person. He's just short in pictures. I didn't say anything. I just walked by.

But today I turned around and walked back to him and the other man in the dark suit. The other man left, but the instant he was gone, a third man in dark pinstripe appeared, touched Kuci's elbow and blustered something. All I heard him say as I approached was, "I'll see you at the sub-committee meeting!" If you wonder why I hate politics (and I do) it could possibly be summed up in that phrase alone. "Sub-committee meeting" makes me dry heave. And I'll tell you why. Let's break it down word by word. First of all, it's a meeting. I hate meetings. I develop MRADD (Meeting Related Attention Deficit Disorder) in meetings. My knee starts bouncing up and down at hummingbird speeds, I grip the sides of my chair or the underside of the table, I fuss with my notepad and write down every word or visual or thought that occurs in my head or in the room around me, I try to bore holes in the speaker's throat with my eyes and render them speechless. I hate meetings. Then add the word "committee," which is the bane of every god-fearing, good hearted American among us. Especially artists. Never tell an artist they have to go before a committee or be reviewed by a committee, or speak to the committee. Hateful, hateful word. Committee's have no place in the daylight world. Committees should be banashed. And lastly the prefix "sub." This means below or under. And what could be worse than being under a committee meeting? The thought is akin to being buried alive.

Long story even longer, I walked up to Kuci, tapped him on the short shoulder and stuck out my hand. He spun around. I pulled out my 'pleasure to meet you' smile and shook his hand, "I really appreciate what you're doing here." This is a lie. I do not appreciate what he was doing there, which was working the political scene as all politicians must do. I do not, in fact, appreciate anything politicians do, which is (I admit) childish and naive of me, but I'm not in the mood to mature on that point just yet. Politicians creep me out. I no likey.
I continued, "Would it be alright if I got a picture with you?"
"Sure," he smiled pleasantly with that bored look all quasi-celebrities get when plagued with pointless intrusions to their day. I searched the area for a victim who could photograph us. A video man from one of the local stations was carting away his equipment. He stopped long enough to shake Kuci's hand and get roped into taking our picture. As I handed him the camera, he set down his tripod, standing it on one end.

"Watch this trick!" He said. Pointing a finger at the balanced tripod, he backed away saying, "Sit! Staaaay!" And then smiled foolishly at me. "Thirty years to teach him that!" He added.

I laughed, "So I guess you can teach an old tripod new tricks."

He fiddled with the point-and-shoot as Kuci put an arm around my waist. I hear he's getting married again. For a moment I wondered to whom. I put my arm around him. He has the slender waist of a woman. The cameraman took three photos.

In retrospect, I wish I hadn't been standing quite that close...

Labels: , , , , ,


Blogger Lukas Abrhm said...

dennis kucinich ROCKS. that dude is actually cool for a politician. i would have voted with extreme prejudice for him if he had won the democratic ticket/run independently. shit...i'd vote for him if he ran as a republican. he's that cool.

5/8/05 17:58  
Blogger Lukas Abrhm said...

oh yeah...you make dennis look like he has a tan.

5/8/05 18:00  
Blogger Nicotine Jones said...

Cool photo...Where is that? It looks familiar...

5/8/05 21:17  
Anonymous Joey said...

Wow. This blog has sunk to a new low. Congratulations!

5/8/05 21:41  
Blogger mymo said...

He looks shorter on TV.

5/8/05 21:59  
Blogger dabuheebly said...

That was very kind of you to let Dennis stand on the curb.

6/8/05 07:27  
Blogger El Fid said...

I like the D-man's wig.

6/8/05 12:11  
Blogger gnomethang said...

Who hell He?. Me not know.

6/8/05 18:44  
Blogger k_sra said...

He be a local, now state polotician. He be in our congress. High form of government. He be (apparently) lukas' favorite money grubber. (Sorry Lukas, but when he says he's 'looking out for the little man', methinks he only means himself. I can't believe you actually approve of any politician! Do any of them merit approval?

6/8/05 23:51  
Blogger Lukas Abrhm said...

no...but he actually made sense. when dealing with the bullshit that spews forth from those lying liars, it's nice to actually believe someone is earnest because they are 100 percent correctomundo. repeal NAFTA now. repeal chinese free trade now. any questions? is quite the right thing to say to me.

7/8/05 02:22  
Anonymous normzone said...

Politics stinks by nature, but you either play or you get played.

I do have to compliment on following through on your photographic ethics, however. Ah, the shots I haven't taken will haunt me forever.

7/8/05 02:50  
Blogger gnomethang said...

Lying liars Eh?, the worst kind!

7/8/05 03:58  
Blogger Joel said...

Lukas: ...[Kucinich] actually made sense.

Lukas that's just the sort of thing I'd expect someone like eywe roflibmum gor whidge bupuppycan duna graffitisocks.


7/8/05 08:21  
Blogger Lukas Abrhm said...

well...chez, you coulda just said, "If you don't turn on politics, politics will turn on you."

or something.

the thing people forget is that i'm an anarchist, i just do what i have to to actually have normal conversations with ppl. cause i'm crazy as flibberdeeflee.

7/8/05 13:40  
Blogger k_sra said...

I don't forget that, Lukas, I just choose not to remember. : )

I like flibberdeeflees!

7/8/05 18:28  
Blogger dag said...

K, do you have something against the Armed Services?

8/8/05 08:22  
Blogger k_sra said...

No, Dag, I don't. On the contrary, I admire them for doing what I have no interest in doing: wielding weapons and facing deadly foes. I believe that having a strong armed guard is necessary to a country's prosperity in the world we live in. It's akin to speaking softly and carrying a big stick. Where did you get the impression I did not admire and respect the armed services?

8/8/05 10:29  
Blogger Worldgineer said...

I think it's because you were hugging a vegan.

8/8/05 12:04  
Blogger k_sra said...

Very funny, World. : )

8/8/05 12:22  
Blogger Worldgineer said...

It is, isn't it. I bet that morning you had no idea you'd be hugging a little vegan, or that later there would be a debate calling your patriatism into question because you attended a memorial for fallen soldiers. Very funny world indeed.

9/8/05 11:22  
Blogger dag said...

I got that impression from the "only God knows why" comment referring to why folks would ever want to serve in the military. I see it's not there anymore.

It doesn't matter to me whether someone is for, against or could care less about the military. I just like to hear the reasonings behind their stances.

And as far as Kucinich, after reading through his website and looking at his stances and voting history, I tend to disagree with about 80% of his issue alignments. Also, I have a hard time taking any politician seriously that backs the origination of the Department of Peace.

But all that being said, I would have gotten my picture taken with him if the opportunity arose, but I would have held up my hand behind his head and given him a set of bunny ears.

9/8/05 12:33  
Blogger k_sra said...

Yes, that comment (which I removed so that my stance, as you call it, wouldn't be misconstrued) has to do with my own complete lack of ever wanting to go into battle of any kind. I am thankful for the people who want to do it. I sure don't.

I'm sorry now I didn't think of the bunny ears. But like lukas says, I made him look tan. HA! Take THAT Kucinich! : )

9/8/05 13:03  
Blogger Lukas Abrhm said...

you tell him K. you tell him all about how he's gonna get mild malignant melonoma someday and yr freakin not. you tell him he's average, and yr not interested...you've already fallen for an eighty something stalker. and that yr tallll. dammit.

9/8/05 14:30  
Blogger k_sra said...

I shall say precisely that the very next we meet, lukas!

9/8/05 15:21  
Blogger dabuheebly said...

It's difficult to give a shri -- er -- I mean a short guy bunny ears if the bunny ear giver is not altitudinally challenged as DK is. The wrist just doesn't bend correctly when placed down at one's side. Try it. You'll see what I mean.

Next time ask bunny man to show you his monster shoes, cause he don't got that much height. He came to my door in '92 campaigning for a state office. k_sra was taller than he even then. Think about it. Dennis invests in shoes.

9/8/05 20:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think you should have a caption contest for the two women to the right behind you...

12/8/05 11:14  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Web Counters