Kids Say The Darndest Things
This edition of Kids Say The Darndest Things is brought you by the collected resources of myself and my coworkers and the wonderful little children in our lives. Enjoy!
Mommy: I have a baby growing in my tummy, that's why it's so big.
Two year old: Oh. Mommy, do you have a baby growing in your bottom, too?
Little girl annoys everyone around her with her new gifts of a dress, perfume and wristwatch demanding that everyone she meets see her dress, smell her perfume and listen to her wristwatch. Her parents tell her to stop as it becomes unbearably repetitious. They go out to dinner at a restaurant and the little girl is desperate to show off her new Birthday wealth. So when the waitress arrives at her table she bursts out, "If you see something, hear something, and smell something then it's probably me!"
A woman on a bus with her niece tries to convince her not to bite her nails, "If you keep doing that your tummy will swell up!" she says. So the little girl stops and as they get off the bus, she says to a pregnant woman near the front, "I know what you've been doing."
At a dinner of Chinese food, a five year old watches me eating with chopsticks and asks what they are. "Chinese people use them to eat their food," I tell him. The boy slides off his chair and sidles over to his mother and whispers in her ear, "Mom, is Sarah Chinese?"
A little three year old boy is asked to give a speech during his birthday celebration. So he stands up on his chair and delivers the following words: "I would like to thank all of you for coming to my birthday party and I hope that every one of you goes straight to hell." That little boy is now 78 years old.
Mommy: I have a baby growing in my tummy, that's why it's so big.
Two year old: Oh. Mommy, do you have a baby growing in your bottom, too?
Little girl annoys everyone around her with her new gifts of a dress, perfume and wristwatch demanding that everyone she meets see her dress, smell her perfume and listen to her wristwatch. Her parents tell her to stop as it becomes unbearably repetitious. They go out to dinner at a restaurant and the little girl is desperate to show off her new Birthday wealth. So when the waitress arrives at her table she bursts out, "If you see something, hear something, and smell something then it's probably me!"
A woman on a bus with her niece tries to convince her not to bite her nails, "If you keep doing that your tummy will swell up!" she says. So the little girl stops and as they get off the bus, she says to a pregnant woman near the front, "I know what you've been doing."
At a dinner of Chinese food, a five year old watches me eating with chopsticks and asks what they are. "Chinese people use them to eat their food," I tell him. The boy slides off his chair and sidles over to his mother and whispers in her ear, "Mom, is Sarah Chinese?"
A little three year old boy is asked to give a speech during his birthday celebration. So he stands up on his chair and delivers the following words: "I would like to thank all of you for coming to my birthday party and I hope that every one of you goes straight to hell." That little boy is now 78 years old.
posted by k_sra at 9/19/2006 11:09:00 AM
1 Comments:
hilarious!
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