How I Will Win American Idol
Ok, so I'm not going into this whole American Idol audition experience by myself. No sirree! I'm in this crazy project with a team of experts I like to call "Sisters."
That's right. Sisters are backing me as I throw caution to the wind and barreling into the void of jobless rejection that faces me. Whee Haw!! bring on the resume rewrites!
The one sis is queen of the catwalks. She knows what's IT and what's SHIT. And I'm depending on her to not let me look like a barroom reject at the auditions. She controls the "look." She is the makeup mamma. The couture queen. So anything you see on television (haha, as if) will probably be her doing. Unless it looks bad, in which case, I squarely take the blame.
The other sis is the orginization maven. She books the rooms, plans the budget for the trip, sets appointments for my hair, nails, contacts. She tells me what to eat, how to exercise, and says nice things like, "Don't worry about anything except singing and being healthy." She does all the work behind the scenes and then tells me what's done. Good lord, it's addictive!
So, anyways, after this week, I'll be so spoiled and fat and sassy no one will be able to tolerate me and I'll end up getting fired from my next three jobs, finally ending as part-time manager of the Pizza Palace.
It's just so sad! Think what she might have been!
Feel free to join me on my trip. I want you to. Really!
That's right. Sisters are backing me as I throw caution to the wind and barreling into the void of jobless rejection that faces me. Whee Haw!! bring on the resume rewrites!
The one sis is queen of the catwalks. She knows what's IT and what's SHIT. And I'm depending on her to not let me look like a barroom reject at the auditions. She controls the "look." She is the makeup mamma. The couture queen. So anything you see on television (haha, as if) will probably be her doing. Unless it looks bad, in which case, I squarely take the blame.
The other sis is the orginization maven. She books the rooms, plans the budget for the trip, sets appointments for my hair, nails, contacts. She tells me what to eat, how to exercise, and says nice things like, "Don't worry about anything except singing and being healthy." She does all the work behind the scenes and then tells me what's done. Good lord, it's addictive!
So, anyways, after this week, I'll be so spoiled and fat and sassy no one will be able to tolerate me and I'll end up getting fired from my next three jobs, finally ending as part-time manager of the Pizza Palace.
It's just so sad! Think what she might have been!
Feel free to join me on my trip. I want you to. Really!
Labels: contest, culture, entertainers, family, journal, music, story, travel
posted by k_sra at 8/24/2004 08:42:00 AM
4 Comments:
Gonna dress you up in my love/in my love. Naaah, probably not- my love's not exactly in style right now. But you will be soooooo sassy, #9. Feel free to delete this delirious post. Wudderyou gonna sing?
That is a fine fine question Honestplus. I will ask you and others for advice on that score...
"Sisters are responsible for me actually throwing caution to the wind"
Those manipulative b****es! You should tell them to back the F*** off! The last thing people want to see on E! Hollywood True Story is another one of those, "my evil sisters were so controlling, they made me sing and dance for years when all I wanted to do was be a sweet ilttle secretary..."
Alright, alright. I recind my comment! But I don't think you clearly understand that I've made you guys my consciences, so to speak. You guys do all my best thinking for me...
But I'll try to take more responsibility from now on for all your good ideas. I mean MY ideas! ; )
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