2.19.2009

Pregnancy Dictionary, Part 2

"So, Sarah, what's it like being five months pregnant?" I hear you say. Well, I'm glad you asked! It's a lot like this:

Round ligament pain: Where your insides get to feel what a drum head feels like when it's made. I think the 'round' stands for 'round the clock', cause this dull, achiness won't quit!

Braxton Hicks Contractions: Practice for the real thing, apparently, but just feels like a cramp or as if the baby is bracing itself in the very lowest regions of your body.

Pyrosis: commonly called 'heartburn' although it has nothing to do with the heart and everything to do with your inept esophagus letting waves of burning acid into your upper digestive track.

Inferior vena cava: The vein running along your spine that makes it a no-no to sleep on your back. *grumblegrumble*

Cravings: What got you eating oreos dipped in peanut-butter without your consent. Best to be very suspiscious of these bad boys as they can have you eating ridiculous things if you let them.

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1.09.2009

Pregnancy Dictionary, Part 1

Fun words and phrases from this stage of my pregnancy.

Fundal Height: The distance your little, internal helium balloon floats up toward your navel.


To Pop: When you can no longer "suck it in" (and thankfully already bought some maternity jeans.)


Quickening: The sudden and startling realization that movements in your gut aren't gas bubbles. Also, coincides with the first time you realize you are not alone.


Cranky: How you act most of the time when you're not feeling grateful for being allowed to take part in this strange miracle.

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