Pregnancy Dictionary - Part 3

At this stage of my pregnancy, all the focus is on delivery. Having a healthy child to show for oneself is kind of the ultimate reward here and with that light at the end of the tunnel, soon-to-be-mothers like myself put our heads down and finish the course.

Third trimester is fraught with all kinds of new and interesting symptoms and curious side-effects, but none of them have interesting or scientific names. Well, if they do, I don't know what they are. So, here, without further ado, is mythird trimester pregnancy dictionary addition:

P-Brain: aka 'pregnancy brain.' This is the time when you can no longer remember where you put something, what you are wearing, if you ever called that person back, what that big word was you wanted to use two seconds ago. Pregnancy brain is the great intellectual equalizer. I just tell people, "I'll have a witty comeback for that in about two months!"

Butterfingers: Not the candy-bar (although one of those is nice every now and again), no, we're talking about the condition. Dropping the same bowl three times on your way to the sink. Overreaching the bedside table and knocking your water all over the floor. That two-pointer into the laundry basket you almost always could make? Not anymore. Somewhere between your brain and your joints, there is now a huge disconnect. And thanks to p-brain, you really don't care. Speaking of joints...

Squishy Bones: It's not really your bones that are squishy, so much as your joints. Whatever goo-gaw is holding your frame together is slowly turning into peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You can no longer 'crack your back' to relieve pressure. You hear little popping, slurpy noises when you sit down on the ground. Your spine feels like a rubber hose. As my OB puts it, "Stretching becomes very important at this stage." And, man, was she right! Stretching and deep breathing is the only thing that makes you feel half human again.

Fatigue: There's no more hiding it, you need to sleep ALL THE TIME. At first, you make plans for after work; water and prune houseplants, finish tax documentation, prepare papers for hospital registration, vacuum living room, and make dinner for hubby. After a couple of days you realize your goal is to come home, take a shower, eat a bowl of cheerios and fall into bed for two hours. That's your list of "things to do." And if you manage to get the shower and the cereal before crashing into slumber, you can feel pretty good about yourself.

Baby Hiccups in the Womb...

...are like having a tiny frog jump inside your belly
...give you the chance to let everybody who wants to "feel the baby"
...usually start after you eat or after the baby exercises
...let you know where your baby's chest is and so where the rest of the baby probably is in proximity
...can keep you awake at night
...are a sign of good health
...are surprisingly cute

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

Saying hello to the world, this one day old is surprisingly alert for someone so fresh faced. Also, he is deliciously adorable. I love his giant hands. Or 'meat hooks', as his uncle lovingly refers to them. It's not my kid. Mine is still tucked away inside waiting for its debut. Happy Scavenger Saturday to everyone.*

*I participate in a weekly scavenger hunt for photos related to a select word. A group of us on the internet make the rounds to see everyone else's photos and comment on how they treated the subject matter. The only rules are 1) post on Saturday (something I often fail to do) and 2) only use pictures you yourself have taken. If you want to join the fun, let us know here!

Welcome to the Mother 'Hood

Something strange happens to a woman when she begins showing a belly with her first pregnancy. Her place in society is subtly shifted. Whereas, she was mothered by other women, advised, encouraged by other women as a single or even as a young married, she is now initiated into a whole new relationship. She moves into a new echelon of camaraderie with those who have gone on before her to bear children. She undergoes an almost instant and unavoidable initiation into the 'Mother 'Hood' as I like to call it. Instead of gang tats or colors, she sports a bulging belly and an insatiable need to pee. Other mothers, as if by instinct, nod or smile as you go past. There is a look of knowing, of understanding, and in many cases, of a need to tell you what to do. You are now open to any and all helpful hints and suggestions that they can think of. And even though you don't want to admit it, they display another trait you yourself will soon bear: an almost irrisistible urge to share their birth story.

Birthing a child is like a secret sign or initiation that mothers share with one. Another mom can understand what you went through in ways no one else on the planet can. With one penetrating look into your soul, they can see a woman who has been through the waters of trial and produced a living human being from her own body, a feat no one else on the planet is capable of achieving. A look in her eyes says, "There may be millions of us, but we are still the proud, the few!"

I am kind of excited to be initiated into the 'hood. I didn't really know I wasn't included fully in the world of women. I thought I had a deep and reverent bond with all women, despite my lack of maternal experience. I have always felt strongly included in the world of women. I am comfortable with, can acknowledge and support them and they me. But I was wrong. I am understanding that there is another room to enter in this labyrinth of womanhood. I have been shown a secret, curtained entrance and my presence is expected and respected on the other side.

Pregnancy Dictionary, Part 2

"So, Sarah, what's it like being five months pregnant?" I hear you say. Well, I'm glad you asked! It's a lot like this:

Round ligament pain: Where your insides get to feel what a drum head feels like when it's made. I think the 'round' stands for 'round the clock', cause this dull, achiness won't quit!

Braxton Hicks Contractions: Practice for the real thing, apparently, but just feels like a cramp or as if the baby is bracing itself in the very lowest regions of your body.

Pyrosis: commonly called 'heartburn' although it has nothing to do with the heart and everything to do with your inept esophagus letting waves of burning acid into your upper digestive track.

Inferior vena cava: The vein running along your spine that makes it a no-no to sleep on your back. *grumblegrumble*

Cravings: What got you eating oreos dipped in peanut-butter without your consent. Best to be very suspiscious of these bad boys as they can have you eating ridiculous things if you let them.

Excitations!

This week's word was EXCITEMENT brought to us by Laura B. Thanks, Laura, for giving us all a word we can get excited about...

The pregnant lady pictured above appears to be thinking:

"I am entering the beautiful, unending chain of humanity, linking myself to the dance of life, becoming the most powerful being in the universe. I am the very center of life force on this planet!"

But in reality, she's actually thinking:

"Holy sh*t, I'm not even halfway?!? I'm gonna be frickin' HUGE, criss-crossed with stretch-marks like an albino watermelon! GAH!!!"

Haha, just kidding. I'm fine with this. I am SO happy, all the time! Who me, worry?? Nonsense. Hahaha! *tries to look away from first ever stretch mark*

To Be or Not To Be (a Girl... with Name Poll!)

The suspense is killing me! Are we having a girl or aren't we? My husband and I agreed to wait on learning gender until the birth of our child. Both of us have confessed to having a gut feeling that Squiggles is a boy... but what if Squiggles is not a boy? What if Squiggles is a girl? What if Squiggles is bringing a flood of cute pink and purple clothing and toys that will adorn every corner of our house? For years! That means Dora the Explorer on TV, My Little Ponies underfoot and Cinderella bedsheets on the bed. It means my husband will be outnumbered (at least initially) and I will be raising a little mini-me. It boggles the mind. A little girl! That would be amazing. Not sure I'm ready, but it will still be amazing.

So if it is a girl, what name(s) do you prefer:

Abril

Amara

Anabel

Angeline

Anja

Brielle

Callie

Geneva

Grace

Katya

Lily

Rose

Sophie

Tatyana

Zoe

Born vs. Unborn Children (NAME POLL!)

Though your unborn child may occasionally try to kick your spleen into a cone-shape or sit on your bladder causing 24/7 urgency to pee, there are still advantages to keeping your child inside rather than outside of your body. Allow me to enumerate on the benefits of the unborn:

1. No crying.
2. No poopy diapers.
3. No day care costs.
4. No temper-tantrums in the checkout line.
5. Sleep.
6. Hours of wriggling entertainment.
7. Always have someone to talk to.
8. Navel-gazing is considered appropriate behavior at work.
9. Always "eating for two"
10. Not allowed to lift heavy things, open doors, stand too long, work too hard, etc, etc

Personally, I think this is a cushy gig. But then again, this is only the second trimester. Talk to me in three months. I will probably flip my vote by then.

POLL: Which boy's name do you like best? (Squiggles' gender is still unknown, so this is for entertainment purposes only)
1. Cade
2. Callum
3. Christopher
4. Cian (Kee-in)
5. Clive
6. Elon
7. Erich
8. Ezra
9. Gareth
10. Gray
11. Guy
12. Isaiah
13. Jace
14. Jericho
15. Joel
16. Kai
17. Luc
18. Xander
19. Zac

Who? ME??

(looking in a mirror)

'I'm going to be a mom.'


(doesn't sink in)


'A MOM!'

(deer in the headlights)

'I am going to be someone's MOTHER!'


(inappropriate giggle)


'That poor kid.'

'Good thing I'm married to this guy...'

Pregnancy Dictionary, Part 1

Fun words and phrases from this stage of my pregnancy.

Fundal Height: The distance your little, internal helium balloon floats up toward your navel.

To Pop: When you can no longer "suck it in" (and thankfully already bought some maternity jeans.)

Quickening: The sudden and startling realization that movements in your gut aren't gas bubbles. Also, coincides with the first time you realize you are not alone.

Cranky: How you act most of the time when you're not feeling grateful for being allowed to take part in this strange miracle.

Recent Entries in my Preggo Journal

December 4, 2008 - Thurs
Now that everyone at work knows I'm pregnant, I can start wearing unabashedly obvious pregnancy clothes and let my gut hang out. : )

December 6, 2008 - Sun - 12 WEEKS!!!!
I'm four months pregnant now. Second tri-mester. We did it! Good job, Squiggles! Oddly enough the morning sickness suddenly and mysteriously stopped. Just like that. I woke up this morning and no nausea, no two-hour food requirements, nothing. Just me. Normal old me. Very odd feeling, but I'm not complaining.

December 10, 2008 - Wed
Now that I'm pregnant, my saliva has gone on strike. It doesn't work. This was brought home to me with great force when I began sending my Christmas cards this year. *lick* flap slowly unseals. *lick lick* flap opens faster this time. *slam book on top of envelope* NOTHING I do keeps those envelopes sealed! What is wrong with my spit??? It used to be as good as crazy glue. Guess it's time to get the scotch tape out.

GRATITUDE - Scavenger Hunt Photo

Gratitude is the art of appreciation. It is directing your focus from all things -good or bad- to a focused appreciation of just those things which are good. Even if temporary, this focus helps adjust our reality to a sweetened view. Letting the good "outshine" the bad, allowing the positive to take center stage, we do not ignore what is imperfect, but we allow the negative to take a momentary backseat in our lives. And sometimes, this little reprieve heals the heart more than anything else.

This week, I am grateful for my 10 week old (pictured to the left). I am grateful for my loving husband. I am grateful for my entire family. I am grateful for wonderful friends!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

[I nominate AlienCG to choose next week's scavenger word. I ALSO nominate AlienCG to pick up the slack left by his brother EvilE to keep an updated list of all the words used so far and by whom (in chronological order) so that we know who's been picked recently and who is getting left out of ther picking process. All agreed? Say 'aye.' *bangs gavel*]